KAUAI, HAWAII, March 2, 2005: Hinduism Today has received the following lengthy list of questions from a magazine doing an article advising non-Hindus on what to do when participating in Hindu event. If you would like to help, kindly send your advice for anyone, any set (such as the one on marriages) or all of the questions. This should result in a very useful guideline which we hope to also publish in Hinduism Today. These question, it should be noted, are formulated from the USA, so some are rather specific to customs of non-Hindus here and how they work or don’t work with Hindus.
For example, on the fourth question below about attending a name-giving ceremony for a child, the non-Hindu could be advised that Hindus consider it bad luck to praise the beauty of a child, which is, however, an expected practise in Western society.
1. BIRTH/BIRTHDAY
* A. Is it appropriate for a non-Hindu friend to send a card to recognize the birth of a child as long as you keep religious wording out of it?
* B. If you are not sure what the child has or needs is a savings bond a good gift?
* C. For older children, would a gift certificate to a religious bookstore be appropriate?
* D. If someone was invited to a naming ceremony or a first feeding ceremony what should they wear, bring and say?
* F. In general are there colors of clothing that should be avoided or that should be worn as a sign of respect for the Hindu tradition?
2. DEATH
* A. Is it appropriate for a non-Hindu to send a card or handwritten note and a donation in the name of the deceased?
* B. Would sending a fruit basket to the home be a good idea?
* C. Is it correct that one should avoid wearing black to a Hindu funeral because it symbolizes evil, not mourning. Would someone who is not Hindu wear an all white outfit, or could they wear dark colors with obvious white accents (such as a scarf)?
* D. Are there any other things that a non-Hindu should keep in mind or be aware of with this ceremony?
3. ILLNESS
* A. Is it correct that it is bad to give white flowers to someone who is ill? What if a bouquet has a variety and some are white?
* B. What color should be sent instead?
4. WEDDING
* A. What is the proper attire (both type of clothes and color) for a wedding ceremony?
* B. I have read that a Hindu marriage ceremony has several ceremonies. Would you still just give one gift for all the ceremonies?
* C. How many days should someone expect the wedding to last?
* D. If you can only make it to a portion of the celebrations (presuming they last more than one day), is that acceptable, and which part is the most important to attend?
* E. What should people keep in mind when getting the wedding gift, and are there any gifts that may have religious significance that a non-Hindu should avoid giving to a Hindu for his or her wedding?
* F. Is there a formal engagement period for Hindus who marry in the U.S.? If not, is it inappropriate to throw an engagement party for your Hindu friends?
5. HOLIDAY
* A. Would it be thoughtful for a non-Hindu to recognize Hindu holidays for coworkers or friends or is that inappropriate? If so, what is best to give (a card, a small gift)?
* B. To recognize Hindu holidays (or when giving gifts during the Christmas season to a group that includes a Hindu friend) would candles be an appropriate gift?
* C. Are there any religious items that one should never purchase for a Hindu if the person buying it is not Hindu?
GENERAL
* What else would you say are common misunderstandings by non-Hindus about the Hindu faith or customs that they should be aware of when attending the above life events?
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