MUMBAI, INDIA, October 9, 2011 (Times of India by Anahita Mukherji): Falling in love outside one’s community does not figure anywhere in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Yet, a growing number of parents are sending their children-both adults and adolescents-to psychiatrists in a bid to “cure” them of this “affliction”.
Antagonism towards mixed marriages cuts across community lines, with Hindus, Muslims, Parsis and Christians dragging their ‘errant’ children to counsellors. The angst can be particularly high for Hindu-Muslim relationships. Psychiatrists have also been asked to counsel youngsters who have fallen for a person belonging to a different caste or community within the same religion, or for that matter another denomination of the religion.
Psychiatrists say that highly educated parents, who neither physically nor mentally abuse their children, can try to bombard the young with ‘logical’ reasons for why they should not marry outside the community. They weave in a network of family, friends and neighbors to convince the child. They also want mental health professionals to be part of this network.
Dr. Dayal Mirchandani feels that, with increasing globalization, youngsters from different parts of the world get a chance to meet each other. “This weakens the hold that traditional ideologies can have on an individual. With parents unable to understand this, there is a growing disconnect between parents and children.” He points to the case of a girl from a small town who married a boy from a different community. The two live in the big city, Mumbai. Every time the girl’s parents visit her, the boy moves out of the house. Her parents do not know of his existence.