MUMBAI, INDIA, April 1, 2011: Modeled after the laws that allow for the takeover of Hindu temples in some states of India, bringing in crores of rupees, the government now plans a tax based on the chakras. The fees would be calculated according to their spinning speed, bureaucrats said.
The question of how to gauge the chakras’ development and tax bracket are not a problem, it seems. ‘We will hire clairvoyant sants to check if people are paying the correct amount,’ explained Ravi Chakraveda, one of the authorities behind the Initiative. Mendicant sadhus with big chakras are exempt. ‘We are reasonable,’ says a speaker for the government.
The community, however, is still confused with unanswered questions: Are only the seven lower chakras tax-exempt? Does the sahasrara pay 1,008 times more?
According to our sources, there were also plans to charge Christian baptisms by the gallon, but the government chose to follow the model of temples and tax only the Hindu population.
The next move is to sell karma credits, modeled after carbon credits, which automatically create good karma with the government. A similar system was successfully tried by dominican father Johann Tetzel in the 1400s. His slogan was, ‘As soon as a coin in the coffer rings / the soul from purgatory springs.’