Source: news.bbc.co.uk
UNITED KINGDOM, December 28, 2009: It’s tradition for newly-married British Asian women to live with their in-laws. For many this rite of passage can be tough. I’ve been living with my in-laws ever since I got married. Now, after 15 years, my husband and I have finally bought our own home.
British Asians make up 6.5% of the UK’s population and these households tend to be, on average, larger than other ethnic groups. Traditionally, Asians live with large extended families, with many wives, husbands, husband’s parents, siblings, and often grandparents, all living under one roof. It’s a domestic situation that is as prevalent today in the UK as it is in India and Pakistan.
Going to live in a ready-made home, having free childcare and sharing the mortgage and household bills does make financial sense for those trying to get on the property ladder. But it can be difficult. In British Asian households, there is an expectation upon you to fit in with the way your “new family” does things. You almost have to forget how you did things previously. Everything revolves around you being the perfect daughter-in-law. The biggest compliment that can be bestowed in Asian communities is for a mother and father be told how good and well brought up their daughter is.
For those who do stick it out, it can eventually be rewarding. Rani, now in her mid-50s, has been married for more than 30 years. She is about to become a mother-in-law and she’s learnt some lessons. “I will do it differently and I’m little bit scared. But I hope [my daughter-in-law] fits in well with the family.”