KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA, March 8, 2007: Of late, parents have spent too much time and money on wedding ceremonies, wedding parties and elaborate decorations. Not forgetting inviting crowds of guests to face the back of selfish cameramen and the rude relatives who crowd the manavarai during the height of the ceremonies. The parents have hardly spent any time on preparing the couple for a married life. They sometimes spend as much as US$45,000 on an extravagant wedding and the couple may even have a 16-day honeymoon. Yet, none of the parties have ever given any thought to arranging for the couple to spend 16 hours at a marriage course to prepare for their future married life. This was the sad lament of Datuk A.Vaithilingam at the close of the two day Marriage Course held at a Kuala Lumpur hotel on February 24th and 25th organized by the Yayasan Strategic Sosial.
He suggested couples must devote more time on preparing for the future. They should be more serious and be prepared to sacrifice time to consider various aspects of married life. Attending a marriage course will make them realize the reality that love means more than just satisfying one’s sexual needs. Love is to be affectionate, to understand, to care, to sacrifice, to pacify and to give and take between the couple.
Marriage was, in a way, the merging of two families, he said. However, he pointed out that in the present day when both husband and wife are usually well educated it was not possible to compare with the past when the educated husband always set the rules. He urged the couple to show respect and assist their in-laws. However, he felt that the love of the couple for each other should be the priority when there is interference by parents in-law.
He also suggested the couple spend some time before their marriage to meet the priest conducting the ceremony. This help them understand the meanings and values attached to the marriage rituals.